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Sports wrap-up with Bruce Penton

Some Canadians may care about the cost of health care, our country's crumbling infrastructure and whether Justin Bieber will ever even approach normal, but for the vast majority, it's time to cut to the chase and concentrate on the really important s

Some Canadians may care about the cost of health care, our country's crumbling infrastructure and whether Justin Bieber will ever even approach normal, but for the vast majority, it's time to cut to the chase and concentrate on the really important stuff: Canada's roster for the 2014 Olympic Games hockey tournament.

It's only September and the Sochi, Russia sporting festival is still five months away, but to Canadians, it matters not whether the temperature outside is 30 below or 30 above, it's hockey season. We're either playing it, watching it, analyzing it, thinking about it, talking about it or trying to figure out why the Leafs can't win a Cup. (It was Canada's Centennial year, 1967, by the way, when the Leafs last captured Lord Stanley's mug. Some people wouldn't be surprised if their next success happens in our bicentennial year of 2067. But we digress.)

In late August, Hockey Canada officials gathered 47 of the NHL's elite in Calgary for a variety of exercises, none of which involved skating because of hefty insurance costs. The players apparently 'bonded' - which will be a great benefit only until one of them tries some facial surgery on another using a wooden stick in an early October game. But it made for a good media splash and got Canadians thinking about the Olympics, as if we needed a reminder.

In the end, coach Mike Babcock, executive director Steve Yzerman and the rest of the 22-member administrative group will choose a 25-man roster to try to bring Olympic gold back to Canada. You don't have to be a genius to know that Sidney Crosby, who scored the 'golden goal' for Canada in 2010 when the Games were played in Vancouver, will be one of those 25, but the identities of the other 24 will be heavily, passionately and enthusiastically debated from Gander, N.L. to Parksville, B.C., until the roster is submitted on Dec. 31.

A couple of weeks from now, we'll take a stab at picking the 25-man roster, an exercise akin to choosing the winning 649 lottery numbers.

Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times: "Tom Brady was the top-earning player in New England last year, but he wasn't even No. 1 in his own household. The financial scoreboard, according to Forbes magazine: Brady $38.3 million, supermodel wife Gisele Bündchen $42 million."

Blogger TC Chong, from Texas A&M's latest football injury report: "QB Johnny Manziel, questionable (writer's cramp)."

British golf commentator Peter Alliss, in a John Huggan column in GolfWorld: "One good thing about rain in Scotland - most of it ends up as scotch."

Blogger Bill Littlejohn, on Devin Hester of the Chicago Bears saying he has 'one foot in the Hall of Fame': "Clearly, the other one is in his mouth."

RJ Currie of sportsdeke.com: "Tim Tebow's quarterback rating against Tampa Bay was 0.0. No wonder his coaches keep saying "Oh-Oh!"

Currie again: "My sister-in-law's terrier will bark when it sees baseball on TV. Honest. Except when the Blue Jays are on; then it rolls over and plays dead."

Brad Dickson of the Omaha World-Herald: "There are plans to make a movie based on the life of Kurt Warner. Because Warner was an NFL player who didn't drink or chase women and was never arrested, it will be considered a science-fiction film."

Dickson again: "KISS has bought an Arena Football League team to be based in Los Angeles. It'll be the first football team where the crazy, shirtless guys with face paint in the stands are the owners."

Comedy writer Jim Barach: "The San Francisco Giants have paid $545,000 to clubhouse workers for violations of minimum wage, overtime and record keeping laws. Or as Tim Lincecum calls $545,000, the third inning."

Headline at Fark.com: "Australian man runs a marathon a day for 20 months / Difficulty: He's now 16,000 miles from home."

Benjamin Hochman of the Denver Post, on Peyton Manning's offensive arsenal: "The Broncos have three exclamation points at receiver and three question marks at running back."

Comedy writer Alan Ray, on the Pirates landing outfielder Marlon Byrd and catcher John Buck in a trade: "The Mets get a top prospect and a player to be booed later."

Dwight Perry again: "Into the The Name Certainly Fits club, let us welcome: Aaron Hernandez's lawyer: Michael Fee."

Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle, after Yankees manager Joe Girardi warned it could be "open season" on Alex Rodriguez: "Man, I hope A-Rod isn't using that deer-antler extract."

Mike Bianchi of the Orlando Sentinel: "I'm not saying NFL owners are filthy rich, but after settling that concussion lawsuit with players for $765 million, they probably asked, 'Would you like that in cash?' "

Bill Littlejohn, on a razor company offering Brian Wilson of the Los Angeles Dodgers $1 million to shave his beard: "Shouldn't that offer have come from a lawnmower company?"

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