Rules for respect: Really?
By Lynne Bell
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听听听听听听听听听听听 As a volleyball coach, my dear editor is already acquainted with a program called Respect in Sport. In fact, as a high-school coach, she has already completed said program. And as a Level 1 National Coaching Certification Program (NCCP) holder whose team sometimes competes at national competitions, she has also completed a similar program tailored for coaches and officials who are involved at that level of play.
听听听听听听听听听听听 Recently, some provinces-Ontario being the most recent and Alberta being the first-now require parents of minor hockey players to complete the Respect in Sport program, as a condition of allowing听 their offspring to take to the ice.
听听听听听听听听听听听 With what's at stake in sport at a national or international level, I can understand the case for more regulation. However, at the recreational level, what initially seemed like a patronizing attitude towards the parents of young hockey players by governing bodies now seems plain pathetic-not because of what I first thought was officious meddling by sports authorities, but because apparently, there are enough parents out there whose (mis)behaviour justifies such a program in the first place.
听听听听听听听听听听听 In Ontario, 12 bucks will buy you a 90-minute online course that was created by anti-abuse campaigner and ex-NHLer Sheldon Kennedy and the Canadian Red Cross. The course content focuses on the prevention of abuse, bullying, discrimination and harassment, in an effort to create a general听 atmosphere of respect. The Respect in Sport program also focuses on the destructive effects of using guilt as a motivational tool towards children and what it euphemistically refers to as 鈥渕isplaced enthusiasm鈥� regarding parents pressuring young hockey players to excel.
听听听听听听听听听听听 听None of this course content is bad in itself. I have enormous respect for both Sheldon Kennedy and the Red Cross. And I'm sure we've all known some little darlings (or perhaps we've even been those little darlings ourselves #yikes) who would benefit from such enlightenment. But this course is aimed at-wait for it-parents!
听听听听听听听听听听听 Really? Apparently, yes. And apparently, bad behavior by hockey parents, especially-is a cross-country concern.
听听听听听听听听听听听 A quick Google search will provide examples of parental misbehavior as it pertains to minor hockey from coast to Canadian coast. And sadly, the phenomenon goes well beyond the understandable excitement of watching a playoff game or seeing your kid score a goal.
听听听听听听听听听听听 I certainly don't know what the answer is-and I (happily) haven't witnessed any episodes in area rinks in this part of the world, but to parents who embarrass their kids-or worse-during their minor hockey 鈥渃areers,鈥� I can only offer this question:
听听听听听听听听听听听 Really?
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Respect in Sport important for parents to take
By Kelly Running
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听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Parents, no matter the sport, can get worked up, but it does seem that hockey parents鈥� blood boils a little hotter. Hockey is a rather aggressive sport, you鈥檙e watching your kid be checked, tripped, maybe even fight on the ice. While that鈥檚 all happening you鈥檙e in the stands next to families from the other team watching their kids go through the same thing.
听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 However, is a sport ever really worth parents getting that worked up for their kids that fights break out in the stands? No. And that鈥檚 something that provincial minor hockey leagues have been attempting to address with a mandatory course called 鈥淩espect in Sport鈥� which was developed by Sheldon Kennedy and the Red Cross.
听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 The Respect in Sport for Parents focuses on ways to be the best fan for your child while they鈥檙e out there playing their sport. It focuses on preventing the use of guilt on your child, misplaced enthusiasm, losing perspective, how to handle wins and losses, focusing on balance and not burning your kid out, proper injury management, making the team, physical development, establishing positive relationships, and ensuring a safe environment.
听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 One of the most drastic incidents regarding heated parents occurred in Reading, Massachusetts, where two fathers were watching their sons play in a pickup hockey game, one just for fun, which resulted in a fight where one father was left dead in front of a soda machine in the rink and the other was convicted of involuntary manslaughter in 2002.
听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Although this is the most drastic scenario I could find, temperatures running hot in the rink are not an abstract thought, they鈥檙e very real. People yell at refs, yell at coaches, swear and taunt others, and yes they even come to physical blows. Three women a few years ago were charged in Alberta for assault: punching and pulling hair (ripping out chunks of hair). The three women charged had just saw their team lose and as one was swearing on her way out a parent of a few young children asked her not to use that kind of language. From there the fighting ensued, in fact one parent that had left during the third period had called 911 to tell them they might want to send patrols to the rink. That parent already knew something was coming.
听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 So, is taking a Respect in Sport program important for hockey parents, it seems to be and not just for those hot headed parents looking for a fight in the stands, but for parents who push their kids to a point of the child no longer enjoying the game all because the parent is disillusioned in the child鈥檚 abilities.
听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Knowing when to push your kid is good, but knowing when to let them breathe is important as well and in the end it has to be the kid鈥檚 choice that they play and dedicate a certain amount of time to the sport, not the parent鈥檚.
听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 As a coach I know parent鈥檚 can get a little heated when it comes to sports, some of the angriest messages I鈥檝e ever received in my life have been from parents. To the point that after reading them I think to myself, 鈥淲hy do I VOLUNTEER for this?鈥� Luckily those parents are very few and far between and somehow other parents must sense something because the next message you get is how much you鈥檙e appreciated by this other family and how much their kid has improved and become more confident.
听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Hockey parents, however, seem to get a little more heated than most other sports in Canada and because of that taking a Respect in Sport program online is a pretty good idea I think. Saskatchewan currently doesn鈥檛 require it, but Alberta, BC, Manitoba, and now Ontario have made it mandatory which seems to be a very good idea.听
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