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Is financial stress any way to start married life?

Lynne Bell

听听听听听听听听听听听 We're still in the midst of wedding season and this week, my charming editrix and I are arguing again-this time about wedding day excess.

听听听听听听听听听听听 A little disclaimer: Please, please don't stop sending me wedding invites. I love a good bash-even if I do think young couples could spend their cash more sensibly. #kiddingnotkidding

听听听听听听听听听听听 But I digress. I haven't actually received a personal invitation, but I have covered a few weddings that have lent themselves to excess. You know, the kind that inspire souvenir T-towels and non-guests camping outside the wedding venue in the rain. (I'm lookin' at you, Will and Kate).

听听听听听听听听听听听 Big weddings are a blast. And I hope the people paying for them have at least as much fun as the guests. Our only responsibility is to show up, look decent and purchase a present.

听听听听听听听听听听听 For couples starting out on a life together, however, I think the cash outlay for an extravagant wedding could be better used to make a down payment on a home or to fund a honeymoon or to pay off debt, all while still having a great (and great-looking) wedding day.

听听听听听听听听听听听 A hairstylist friend of mine in Calgary used to keep me entertained with tales of weddings she and the team (yes, team!) of stylists from her salon worked at. She never mentioned names, but the details of the boomtime nuptials in Cowtown were at times, mind-boggling. And often, a source of great stress to the couple involved. Even if a cloud of impending financial doom wasn't an issue, snarking over other over-the-top details often was, which is surely not a great way to begin married life.

听听听听听听听听听听听 Here at The Observer, we have a wedding planner as a neighbour, Lorraine Stoddard of Lolo's Events & Fashion.

听听听听听听听听听听听 Stoddard says that it's possible to have the wedding of one's dreams without overspending or over- stressing a couple's relationship.

听听听听听听听听听听听 鈥淥ne of the first, most important things I ask a couple to decide on is an idea of their budget,鈥� she says. 鈥淚t's possible to have a great wedding-and to hire a wedding planner if you wish-within most budgets.鈥�

听听听听听听听听听听听 鈥淚t's possible to have a wedding that's both stress-free and fits with your wishes-and that includes your financial wishes.鈥�

听听听听听听听听听听听 As a wedding planner, Stoddard cautions against couples settling for a wedding with only saving money in mind.

听听听听听听听听听听听 鈥淚've had couples who have eloped. Some have spent money and gone to Vegas to do that and it isn't at all what they thought it would be. They feel let down and like their day was nothing special.鈥�

听听听听听听听听听听听 鈥淪o it's not just about the money; it's about a couple working as a team to make their day happen the way they want it to.鈥�

听听听听听听听听听听听 I guess that's the point. If you're starting out married life communicating and working as a team, then the odds are in your favour, no matter how much you spend.

听听听听听听听听听听听 But please, keep it within your budget, kids...

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It's a party

By Kelly Running

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听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 This week Lynne and I thought we'd look at weddings. In this day and age weddings are quite often an expensive ordeal, but is it necessary or worth the money?

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Perhaps the huge wedding isn't necessary, but to many it's worth the fuss. It's not necessarily about the most expensive dress or best decorations, but a wedding celebration is a time when you get older that allows people to get together.

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Family and friends over the years find themselves spread out across the country and even around the world. A wedding is an opportunity to celebrate the union of two people, but it's one of the few times all of these people who are important in your life to come together.

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 My sister was married this year and as I made the rounds visiting with people, I found out one of my sister's friends hadn't had a reception or dance. He was being bugged by his friends because with being older and life pulling them in all different directions, weddings and funerals seem to be the only things that can bring people together.

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 So, why not spend a little bit of money and make a special day even better by providing the opportunity for friends and family to come together and to catch up with each other.

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 I personally don't really see the appeal of spending exorbitant amounts of money on a wedding, but I can see the importance of bringing people together for the occasion and to do this will take some money to do it with. You need a hall large enough for everybody, if they're coming from far and wide anyways then why not provide them with a meal as well, and provide a venue to celebrate with each other.

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Meals would have to be at least $25 a plate, and I'm thinking that would be at the low end of the spectrum like close to the bare minimum, although I'm sure you could pay way more depending on who is catering and what you're eating.

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 A venue is always costly as well, so to provide a meal and place to sit, eat, visit, and later dance, it costs a pretty penny. But it is done for the camaraderie and being able to celebrate with friends and family, which is a far more important aspect of not only a wedding, but of life in general, than money.

听听听听听听听听听听听听听听听 Money is something that we all need and use within our society, but the relationships we have are most important and a wedding is therefore something important to spend money on in order to bring these important people in your life together.