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Nothing like a good rant on a clear spring day

How about a few minor rants for today, just to get us off on a good foot for a frantic weekend of fun! Most of our recent observations have to do with the sporting world, but not entirely.

How about a few minor rants for today, just to get us off on a good foot for a frantic weekend of fun!

Most of our recent observations have to do with the sporting world, but not entirely.

Let's start with hockey, shall we?

Phoenix Coyote fans apparently need official cheerleaders to help them along. Montreal doesn't. Why is that? Could it have something to do with the overall hockey culture in these two communities? Phoenix had a great team this year, yet they still produced diddly squat in terms of excitement and then they still lost $22 million. Move them back to Winnipeg. It can't be any worse. Phoenix loves their Los Suns and sorta likes their NFL team and that baseball team they kinda remember. Let them play golf and leave them alone.

Rant No. 2. I hate the idea of playoff beards on hockey players. Somewhere along the line, someone convinced them that scruffy was cool. It's ugly guys. And please knock off that stupid goalie head bump ritual following a win. It's getting really, really old.

And while they're at it, the networks could easily eliminate the between period 27 second pseudo-interviews with sweaty players in the hallways. Nothing is asked and nothing is answered. Another commercial would be more entertaining than that pap.

Rant No. 3. Hockey, like basketball and NFL football, has outgrown its playing surface, especially after they added another referee. These games have progressed beyond the parameters allowed them. But unlike BB and NFL, hockey arenas can be made larger and still be official.

Rant No. 4. If you want to eliminate all the charging of the net and goaltender crashes and the like, just make one change. Embed the nets like they used to. Immovable nets will change the culture of the goaltender crashers overnight. And while they're at it remove the helmets and restore some respect for the players in the game. Right now NHL players seem to think they're football players and they're just about as big too. Hockey has forgotten to include the little guys, although a few of them are making it a bit of a comeback event. So if they know they're not going to get hurt if they crash the net, guess what they'll do?

And don't get me started on the rest of the equipment. Protection or lethal weapons? And what about all these exploding hockey sticks? Someone needs to get back to the drawing boards.

Rant No. 5. Speaking of small guys trying to fit into the new sporting fraternity as we said, it's more difficult. The only place where small fits now, it seems, is horse racing and bowling. Heck, even golf has become a big man's game and while I'm on that subject

Rant No. 6. Where is the additional imagination when it comes to golf course designs and layouts. Pristine yes interesting? Somewhat. But hey, Pete Dye or Jack Nicklaus, why not design a golf course with a 73 yard Par 2 and an 835 yard Par 6? What's stopping you? Rules allow it. What makes you think you have to stick in the mud with Pars 3 to 5 only? A double dog leg Par 6? Think about it.

Rant No. 7. Players who are suspended for misdemeanours should be required to not only serve their time without pay, but also spend each game day they have to sit out, doing some kind of volunteer service. Heck, Manny could have restored New Orleans while he was serving his time off for bad behaviour. Why let them sit at home or in the luxury boxes, make 'em do something.

Rant No. 8. Who has the bigger egotistical sense of entitlement? Political cabinet ministers? NFL football players? NBA forwards? Movie and television celebrities? Rap and Hip musicians? Donald Trump?

Rant No. 9. Helena Guergis, should we care?

OK, I've exhausted the rant list for this week. I'll be busy next week testing my mettle. I've decided to go on a daring expedition by climbing one of Saskatchewan's highest natural peaks. I will climb the north slope. I will not take the easier south face route and I'll leave the rusty Jeep at the second base camp before ascending to the highest level without the benefits of a Sherpa guide for the final 112 metres. I will not benefit from any bottled oxygen. It's just me and my Diet Pepsi all the way to the top.

Note from staff:

Dear readers. If you happen to know where Saskatchewan's highest elevated "peak" is, let him know before he takes off will ya? Otherwise he'll probably try to scale some hill at Roche Percee and get hurt, or he'll end up riding the elevator in the SaskPower head office tower in Regina. Help him out. Contact him at: [email protected]

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