Just try to imagine the stress, the pressurethe uncertainty of not knowing what the outcome might be. According to researchers who keep track of social and consumer statistics there will be at least six million, perhaps as many as 14 million, proposals taking place this week--the majority happening on Valentine's Day. Even though more proposals occur on Christmas Eve than any other day of the year, many people are sweating it out; nervous about how their planned proposal will go, or wondering if they will be proposed to on the day of hearts and love.
What used to be a moment shared between two people has morphed into an event requiring elaborate set ups and dozens of cast members. Like so many other things in our social media-driven culture, some people have determined that the goal of a proposal is not only to capture the heart of their beloved, but also to capture the interest of internet viewers. Yes, the jumbotron proposals will likely stick around for a while but some grooms are taking popping the question to extreme heights and depths. Then, with friends acting as tech crew and camera operators, as soon as the "yes" is secured the video is posted.
There was the flash mob in San Francisco that took a woman by surprise when the dancers pulled her into the crowd and she saw her boyfriend on one knee, asking her to marry him. Then there was the woman who less than thrilled about going to see a recently released action movie with her boyfriend. As the lights dimmed and the previews started she was shocked to see that her boyfriend had created and arranged to have a fake trailer shown containing his proposal. There was the Harry Potter-themed scavenger hunt ending with a treasure chest and a ring. The couple riding a tandem wakeboard (he asked her in the water but waited to give her the ring until they were back in the boat).The fake scuba diving contest. The man who wrote and starred in a phony reality show culminating in a large gathering in a food court and a proposal. Not to be outdone, last Valentine's Day a 35-year old man in France proposed to his girlfriend by hiring a company to send a giant helium balloon up to an altitude of 18 miles with the message, "Vanessa, will you marry me?"
For those who are worried their plan won't measure up there are consultants who run businesses for this express purpose. For the right amount of money anything can be achieved to make the proposal truly unique or over-the-top, whichever you are looking for. One consultant works with clients who have engagement budgets ranging from $5,000 to $50,000. In addition to wedding planners, an entire industry is involved in proposal planning. Hopefully all these couples are enjoying happy marriages and the effort that was put into the proposal reflects the effort being put into the marriage; because although fun and heartwarming to read about, the most romantic, expensive, elaborate proposal in the world isn't any predictor of the success of the marriage.
One of the companies offering to help plan and execute extreme proposals is attempting to attract clients with the tag line: "just because you're an average guy doesn't mean your proposal has to be." Hmm, the"average guy" and the "average proposal". Is there something wrong with that? I don't think so.
If the one doing the proposing has an earnest desire to spend the rest of their life with the one they love there is nothing average about that. If promises of for richer or for poorer, to love and to cherish, are entered into wholeheartedlythere is nothing average about that. If there is an understanding that faithfulness and for better or for worse mean exactly what it saysthere is nothing average about that.
So as flowers are delivered, candies eaten, gifts exchanged and rings presented this week, remember it's not about the price of the production but the proof of the promises. That's my outlook.
