How do you define love, better yet can you guarantee it? The different forms of the emotion, whether it is storage, agape, phalia or eros is normally, in some way shape or form dependent on you. However, the variables that life spawn's more often or not dictates the way we love and this as you all know can be positive or negative.
I have always taken the approach to love in a selfless way, giving a 100 per cent in all aspects of the feeling. And I have come to learn that vulnerability is our greatest ally when it comes to this emotion but as in all things in life is not without its challenges. I understand that letting go of our inhibitions can be a challenge and a task that many would rather not address. But accepting ones flaws and being willing to address them I find brings you one step closer to unconditional love.But therein lies the question, is there such a thing, if your husband or wife cheats, will you address the issue behind the unfaithful act and press on and allow the love that brought you together in the first place grow even more. But that's a whole different argument once the word "cheat" is mentioned, many of my friends say its one strike and you're out. One particular friend would say "there is no excuse to cheat, it only shows that you don't love enough." But whatever love we experience, I believe that once there is mutual commitment, unconditional love is possible. This all falls under what is known as eros, romantic love, the most popular of the four and at times the most pertinent. Some live their entire lives in search of this kind of love. I must admit I've had my share of experiences in romantic love but those experiences has allowed me to offer so much more, once its deserved anyway.
The dichotomy between commitment and infatuation which is perceived as love can be blurred by its very existence of romance. However, my commitment goes beyond the average expectations; I believe that one's belief system in commitment has to be unwavering to the point of self sacrifice, putting one's self last and the other person first. And once the other person has the same approach commitment is a snap but people accepting this concept is rare. Many will say they are committed in this way but only very few will actually live it. I am fuelled by this belief and put it into action in each hour of everyday not only with the woman in my life but also with my family. Yes, there will be times when things overlap but trust me, having the same outlook will lead to a resolve more than 90 per cent of the time.
Life's complexities can at times drive us to doubt the love we experience. Storage for example, the love of family is normally our first contact with love. The warmth and tenderness of a mother's hug or the sense of protection a father brings is something we have all experienced. Even if it's not from our own parents but rather from an older brother or aunt it applies just the same. Similarly that love is new for parents as well; the feeling that swims through your veins and up to your heart upon the cooing of your first born is instinctive. However, if an individual does not experience this, as in the case of many foster children, one's life can be dramatically affected by love's initial absence. And thus begins the cycle of a lack of affection or in some cases an unrealistic view point of love when that person engages in relationships. We follow a natural path, beginning at birth and everything that surrounds us no matter how small is deeply embedded in our psyche and will at some point present itself throughout our lifetime.
I wish this was a perfect world, I really do but the dynamic of cause and effect equated with society and culture prevents that and mentioning the word "perfect" the topic of "God" comes into play, yes "agape". I know it can be a touchy subject, but I was exposed to Christianity as a child but as I got older and learnt about different cultures and mans history my view point changed. It became more holistic in scenery, in the sense that most, if not all religions advocate the same principle, but it's the extremists and illogical thinkers that carry religion to an uncomfortable place. The sad thing is, because of centuries of this, those belief systems are still present in even the most conventional of religions. This is one of the more intricate forms of love, but for me, the simpler the better. God is all around us and barring unforeseen discrepancies, I believe that there is an innate love that compels us to do good and love in the way "God" expects. But again terrible things that happen in the world, such as famine, disease and untimely death bring questions that I regret we don't have the answers to, but at the very least, love drives us to do the right thing.
Then comes the topic of friendship or phalia, for me, there are different levels to phalia as we get older. As toddlers friendship is based on sharing and play, while as teenagers the bond has deeper meaning. But for me, the adult stage stands out and to be realistic, you may disagree but most people will only ever have one or two, true friends and everyone else fills a particular gap. You will have your social friends, then your workout friends and the business friends, all still adding value to your life. I have made some friends in Carlyle and I must say they represent the quintessential model of what true friends represent and in time I hope to make my previous statement false. But for the most part, never underestimate love and when you love, do it with all your being.
