"This is me with my dog." "This is me jumping on my bed." "This is me with my boyfriend." "This is another angle of me with my dog, and I'm pursing my lips seductively." "This is me, lips pursed again."Your Facebook profile picture is a reflection of you who are, and acts as a first impression for Facebook "creepers." I believe that candid, spontaneous pictures either featuring a person solo, or a group of friends, is the best choice. A picture in your graduation dress? Deal. Twenty-four different angles of you in front of your bedroom mirror? Fail. If I'm creeping your Facebook page and I can see your arm reaching out in front of you holding your camera to take your picture, I'm going to pass some serious judgment on you. Not in a good way, either. Same goes with stretching, editing, and over-exposing to the point where I have to spend fifteen minutes figuring out exactly what is going on in the picture. Maybe you're being artistic, props to you, but when I fail to recognize you in person after a few years, despite maintaining an active Facebook friendship, something has to change. So get out there, spend some time with your friends, snap a couple of photos. Hit up the Rider game and get a picture taken of you in your watermelon helmet. Pose for your sister when she wants to practice her photography skills, even if you know she's going to post the terrible pictures online. Profile pictures should reflect who you are, rather than capture your reflection in the bathroom mirror.Life LessonAll through our lives, we are told seemingly unimportant advice by people with "life experience." "Don't feed Janay mud." "Be nice to everyone, because someday that person you were rude to will be your boss." "Floss your teeth." "After you butter your toast, don't wipe the freakin' knife off on the butter container." As a kid, all of this is easy to shrug off, mostly because it seems like a bunch of lies made up by old people to get you to do what they want, and because it's just really funny to watch Janay eat mud.However, as I grow up, I'm finding out that more and more of this advice is proving to be valid. One's teeth WILL get cavities without flossing. The dentists are not lying. Buy some floss. Janay will grow up with a major grudge and use your secrets as blackmail when she wants you to drive her to McDonald's.Crumbs in the butter container are nasty. Almost as gross as contaminating peanut butter with jam and vice versa.That girl you ignored or were just rather rude to, whether it be because your friends encouraged it or because you were kind of a jerk anyway, will somehow work her way back into your life. It could be at a family reunion where she's hanging on your favourite cousin, or perhaps at a restaurant where you know she's in the kitchen spitting on your chicken fingers. Expect to run into her somewhere. Karma will get you. Every time.As someone who is newly learning these lessons, I'm politely suggesting that those of you younger than myself (or hey, as old as 40) pay a bit more attention to wise words offered by your elders. I myself have a few tidbits of advice I'd like to offer:1) Don't sing along with the music blaring on the car speakers when you're stopped at a red light on Fourth St. People will see you. They will judge.2) Clean out the people you aren't really friends with on Facebook before they delete you. This will help you save face when your real-life friends are deleted by people they'd only friended with the intention of mocking. Cyber face-slap avoided.3) When you borrow your sister's clothing without telling her, don't get any important pictures taken that will be used as evidence.4) Always dress nicely for work, because important pictures will always be taken when your greasy hair is in a ponytail, and you're wearing your sister's clothes.5) When going clothing shopping, wear white socks, because potential dresses never look good with your purple-with-cute-yellow-ducks socks.6) Parents, don't buy booze for your minor-aged offspring. Let them find their own pullers. This will teach them to be resourceful, which is undeniably a valuable life skill.7) You don't know all the answers. Neither does your mom. She may think she does, but she's faking it.8) Don't tell your mom she doesn't have all the answers.9) Twelve-year-old girls: when you dress up, coat yourselves in make up, and walk around the main city blocks, you aren't fooling anyone. Older boys will still know you're 12, no matter how short your shorts are or how dark your eyeliner is. The giveaway? You're walking.As you go about your daily lives, consider my words and recognize the validity of them. I mean well, and in many cases I have had to learn these lessons on my own.
