Sitting in Capstone restaurant, Rob Cobb of Kisbey, looks like any other hungry patron waiting to order. As he begins to speak about his experiences in the Canadian Armed Forces with The Observer it becomes clear that he has experienced things the average Canadian cannot even imagine.
Still struggling with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Cobb has gotten to a place where it has become easier to talk about what he has seen, but he admits a piece of himself is gone, lost in combat zones around the world where it will never be recovered.
Despite the challenges he has overcome, Cobb regrets nothing, and though his memories can be difficult, he values his time serving his country and doing his part to try and make the world a better place.
Cobb was first inspired to join the Army through the Remembrance Day ceremonies he attended as a youth.
"Seeing the guys come out at Remembrance Day, amazing guys the veterans, and they'd talk about World War I, World War II, and the Korea War..." Cobb explained. "I was like, 'Yeah,' that sparked a little interest in me and 'I think that's something I want to do.'"
Cobb applied a year after graduating high school and would serve for four years before leaving his position as a mechanic; but, as he bounced from different jobs outside of the military, nothing seemed right.
"I was out for nine years, it took five years to get back in," Cobb said. "I just missed it."
During his first experience with the Armed Forces, Cobb would be sent on a peace keeping tour in the 1980s. It was during this time, in Lebanon, that he first witnessed somebody die.
"[Y]ou have to get your head around it and carry on for what you're doing," Cobb stated. "...it's like leaving a little piece of you there when you come back."
"When we went through that one something was off, you could feel it; you were missing something inside..."
Upon returning to the Army after nine years away, Cobb would again become a vehicle technician. He would be stationed at Petawawa, which had a stigma of being an extremely tough regiment. Despite its reputation, Petawawa came to be loved by Cobb. Taking as many courses as the military would offer, Cobb would go on to become an instructor of small arms and heavy weapons as well as an advanced hand to hand combat instructor.
When he first returned to the military he would head to Syria for another peace keeping mission.
"I was over there working a bit... in gathering intel because all the stuff that's happening in Syria now, back in 2002 they started it," Cobb explained.
While stationed there, Cobb says the one thing that stuck out in his mind was the vast difference in living conditions between Canada and Syria. People picking garbage on the side of the road for a couple of dollars was usual, where those in Canada can't really be bothered with such work.
The most striking memory from his time in Syria, however, involved a cow. As they were driving down a road Cobb noticed a cow wandering out into a minefield.
"It stepped on a mine, it blew up... when we came back the cow was gone," Cobb said. "...the locals went into the minefield because, it's food... they went out into this minefield so they could have food."
"It puts a different perspective on life when you see something like that..."
While Cobb was serving in Syria, Canada was preparing to enter Afghanistan. Arriving home, Cobb immediately spoke with his family and requested a waiver from the military in order to be sent overseas again. Since he had just finished a tour he needed the waiver to prove he understood what he was doing and that his family understood.
The major difference between Cobb's previous tours, however, and his mission to Afghanistan was the kind of conflict Canada was now entering.
"...Canada, we haven't been into a conflict like that since really, the Korean War," Cobb explained. "Bosnia; Kosovo; we were peace keeping. We got fired at, we returned fire, some people got killed, some people got taken..."
An offensive war in Afghanistan by Canada, however, meant the general population received them differently than in other areas. Cobb says this was something that struck him after arriving in Afghanistan.
While driving along in an armoured vehicle, people in the streets would be throwing bottles and cans at his regiment. They questioned why the general population would be doing this when all the Canadian Armed Forces wanted was to help them.
"Then we just thought... what would you do? All of a sudden this army comes into your country..." Cobb said. "We are an invading army trying to tell them this is the way that it should be..."
Although thinking this through led Cobb to empathize with the Afghan people he was upset by fellow soldiers who were mad at how they were received by the country's population.
Though Cobb had seen friends die, it was during this tour that he truly realized his own mortality. A cylinder for a forklift needed to have a seal replaced and as Canadians, Cobb says, they had an obligation to stimulate the local economy. When it came time for the officer to pay a mob was created.
"...he went to pay for the cylinder and what he did was keep all his money in one pocket instead of spreading it out. So, he took the money out, it was a big wad, so they thought we were giving them money... he panicked..." Cobb explained.
"...we get around him and start pushing people back. Got to the truck; got the door open; got the cylinder in the truck. You've got people around; you're hitting them... because by that time your training kicks in. You're hitting people with your rifle, you're hitting people, you're kicking them, you're doing everything. Your heart's just pounding, but you don't notice at the time."
"...we get back and get everything unloaded. I take off my flak jacket and... I used to have a watch on my belt; I just hooked it around my loop. I went to grab it and it was gone. I fell to my knees because somebody, when I was in that crowd or getting up into that truck, took it off my belt. So, that means they were up, under by body armour, and took it off my belt."
"My buddy said I turned white as a ghost... because who knows what would have happened? I could have got stabbed or they could have put anything on me... This isn't a game... this is serious; if somebody wanted to hurt us they could have done it... It makes you double think yourself, it's like, 'Okay, I'm not invincible.'"
While in Afghanistan, the threat against his life was very real; but, Cobb declares himself as "hard nosed." This, however, could not be upheld every hour of every day because of his love of children and the inability to turn off all emotion.
"The biggest thing that really got me was the kids," Cobb stated. "The sadness in their eyes, what the parents thought about them, this is their culture... I think. They were worthless, they weren't worth anything unless they were grown up..."
Cobb explained different circumstances where his "hard nosed" character was chipped at due to this mentality: "...there everyone gets on the buses and they pack right in, so nobody can move; but, there was this poor little girl about five-years-old smushed right up against the window and she was crying. And we couldn't do anything, we weren't allowed to do anything because she was being hurt but it was beyond what we were there for."
Another blow to Cobb's hardened veneer came upon seeing the school books used in classrooms.
"...here it would be like: Johnny has two apples and Bobby gave him three apples. How many apples does Johnny have?" Cobb stated. "There it's, Johnny has five magazines of bullets. Billy gives him 10 more magazines of bullets. How many magazines of bullets does Johnny have?"
"...tanks, dead bodies, pictures of dead bodies [in the classroom]... it's hard to describe, but seeing something like that goes back to the first time a buddy of mine died, it just takes a part of you with it... I've always loved kids, but seeing that just tears you apart."
Despite losing little pieces of himself, Cobb explained: "We did do a lot of good there. At the end of the tour you could see it. Businesses opening up and stuff like that. Things being built; we built a playground for the kids and you know it was nothing special, but it was a playground and they appreciated that."
The stonings that had been "cheered" at the coliseum by Afghan people ended, schools were built, and some girls began to attend school by the time Cobb's tour finished.
Returning to Canada in 2004, however, Cobb discovered those little pieces which had continually been chipped away had turned him into a different person.
"I knew something was wrong with myself," Cobb explained. "Something was missing. I left something, everybody left something there. I was different. I wasn't the same person."
Explaining his first memories of being home Cobb says there was normality in driving to the base one day, while in Canada. As he stopped to help with a serious collision between a van and a semi, he simply thought it felt like "just another day."
By 2006 Cobb had another opportunity to go to Afghanistan, which he was excited for, but instead of being sent on another tour he was promoted and posted. This brought him to Moose Jaw with the Snow Birds.
It was during these two years that Cobb was diagnosed with severe PTSD, but his position within the military was not compromised.
"...I was diagnosed with severe PTSD. Everybody got it no matter what over there," Cobb said. "Mine was a bit more severe than others, but okay. Not a big deal; not kicked out of the military."
This became something he thought was odd as he was later diagnosed with Leukemia. He received his three year medical extension, and his military career would be over. Teaching during his medical extension, Cobb decided to leave early as he knew his time with the military was finished.
"I got out. It just wasn't the same because I knew I was going to be released," Cobb stated. "Actually, around this time now is when I would have been released. It just lost its shine because I knew I wouldn't be doing anything now."
Though there have been ups and downs throughout his life Cobb explains he would do everything again and regrets nothing.
Thanks to the strength of his family including his two daughters, Jess and Amy, his son, Chris, and, the strongest woman Cobb knows, his wife, Lisa, he has been able to overcome his struggles mostly. Standing by him through everything, supporting his decisions, and being able to help him come to a place where his PTSD is able to be dealt with they have been his rock.
"[I'm] doing better now," Cobb explained. "Never going to get over it, but I'm learning how to cope with it."
His only hope for future generations of young people in Canada is that they will come to understand the gravity of combat.
"My son-in-law- just went through basic training... he became an infantry man... but he grew up on video games," Cobb said. "That's how he's looking at it."
"And that's the problem now-a-days when people are joining, 'Oh well, it'll just be like a video game.' Yeah, well kind of, but you don't get those extra lives. Once you're shot, once you're dead, that's it... all the emotions that your friends and family has to go through is just absolutely overwhelming..."
Today Cobb lives in Kisbey with his wife and works as a mechanic with Nankivell Trucking. He has become the fire chief of the volunteer fire department in Kisbey and is also considering becoming an auxiliary RCMP member because he has recently discovered his training, the rush of helping in such a high stress situation, and being able to help people is hardwired within him.
