ESTEVAN - Shelley Boyes founded Choose Life Ministry after going through a personal tragedy in 2006 when her oldest daughter was killed in a rollover accident.
Boyes was a guest speaker at an event at Trinity Lutheran Church in Estevan recently where she shared the story of the organization and also had a graduate named Jordyn tell guests about her journey.
Back in the 2000s, after the loss of their sister, Boyes' younger daughters started seeking ways to mute the pain and started medicating with drugs and alcohol.
"They were 16 and 13 at the time. And as a mom, my biggest fear was that I was going to lose one or both of them as well. And so I had to be strong for them. But at the same time, I was grieving terribly," Boyes shared.
It was a difficult page of their lives, but Boyes found a way out not only for herself but also for many others.
"If you have had a similar experience with grief, I'm sure that you can identify with all of those emotions and those feelings. But … it does get better over time and with God's help, you can heal from something as devastating as that. And God may even have a plan for you and for your life," Boyes said.
It took a long time to heal, but five years after the tragedy, Boyes felt strong enough to try to help young women who may have felt that they hit the dead end to return to life.
"I wondered what it would be like to try to help young women who were struggling with drugs and alcohol and self-harm and depression and other things that were taking their lives off track," Boyes shared.
She was trying to find programs to help her younger daughters get their lives back, but at that time, there hardly were any organizations of this kind in North America and across the world. So Boyes put all her determination, creativity and ambitions in to build Choose Life – a safe place for women to come find hope, healing and freedom.
She started working on the project in 2012 and since then the organization, located by Gainsborough, has been helping women from all across the country, allowing for a second chance in their lives.
Choose Life Ministry offers a six-month residential program, in which women come and live at the facility by Gainsborough alongside staff, present at the location 24/7.
"It is a very much faith-based, Christ-centered program, a 12-step program called Freedom Session. And we offer a holistic approach to healing. We have fitness and nutrition and counselling and life skills training. And yeah, it's a wonderful program," Boyes shared.
Following the story of Choose Life Ministry, one of the graduates named Jordyn shared her life journey.
"I went to Choose Life Ministry in 2019," recalled Jordyn. "I came from a loveless home I guess you can say. Growing up my parents threw money and everything. There wasn't a lot of connection there. My sister was two years older than me and struggled with addiction very severely since she was 12 years old. Obviously, there were problems before that with her.
"So, drugs were familiar to me. They didn't scare me. They were almost normal because they were always in my home. So, when life started to throw trials my way, I did what I knew how to do, which was cope with drugs. And the group of people I was drawn to were the underdogs of society, I guess you can call them. And I've always had a heart for them," Jordyn said and paused, as tears were in her eyes.
"I was sexually abused. I lost two children. Addiction just comes with its own set of traumas. So I lost a lot in my life. And I can see that I've lived in darkness. I lived in darkness for a long time," Jordyn recalled.
When she came to Choose Life, Boyes promised to fight for her, and she did.
"Fast forward, it's 2022. I graduated from the program. And Shelley continues to fight for me. The program itself is amazing … I graduated in 2019. I think that's when the real work started, you're back into the world, you have a new outlook on life and a new skill set, but the same stuff is still out in the world. Just because you went through Choose Life it didn't go away. But [the program] really gave me the foundation to … navigate things in a whole different way," Jordyn said.
The program, which she believes is way broader than just the official six months, helped her get back on track. Prior to the program, she received an education to become an addictions counsellor, and now she is working as one. And Choose Life and the people working there, including Boyes, remain a big part of her life.
Boyes also shared the story of an old stone homestead, built by her grandparents in 1901. It was doomed to be demolished, but instead, Choose Life Ministry’s board voted to have it restored and it became a home for many patrons for years to come. Resonating with it, on the day of the presentation, Trinity Lutheran Church asked guests to bring their unique upcycled items for the display in the lobby, to share stories of how something old may have a new life with a hint of creativity.
The presentation was followed by lunch and a craft at the church.
To find more about Choose Life Ministry go to www.chooselifeministry.ca.
