I was chatting with a good friend recently about education – what's taught, what should be taught and whether the system needs to change. We didn't agree on everything, but there was one area where we overlapped: the need to teach communication and emotional intelligence (EQ) in schools.
It just seems that over the past couple of decades, we've become very sensitive, but at the same time, we seem to have forgotten the basics of communication, let alone successful communication.
Over the past few generations, more families have had both parents working, which means children are often left to navigate social and emotional development on their own. We've also moved away from the idea of "the village" raising a child.
The extended family networks that used to offer support, guidance and a safety net aren't as close and a lot of times even accessible as they once were. This shift has left gaps in how kids learn to understand emotions and handle them, resolve conflicts and connect with others. The traditional way of picking up these skills by observing and imitating those around us doesn't work as it used to anymore.
And then, on top of that, we had two years of the pandemic, which was pretty hard to explain to the little humans but definitely affected their socio-emotional lives.
I believe teaching EQ is about equipping kids (and adults who lack it) with life skills that will serve them throughout life. Children who understand their own emotions and can empathize with others are better prepared to handle stress, solve problems and build healthy relationships. Stats suggest people with developed EQ are more likely to thrive in academic settings and can better navigate the challenges of workplaces and life in general.
Earlier this year, Windsor-Essex schools in Ontario piloted a program to teach socio-emotional skills. The program was developed in the U.K., and the hope is that the program will help kids with identifying, monitoring and regulating their emotions. Within the frames of the program, among other approaches, teachers are helping kids understand their emotions by comparing them to other known things in life, which allows students to eventually better deal with what's happening inside them.
But the project isn't just about learning about emotions. When students know how to understand and handle their reach emotional world, they are better in academics as well, and their general attitude is more positive.
While schools might not be an obvious choice for EQ education, do we actually have other realistic options?
Think back to a time, not so long ago, when families were bigger, and kids often had cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents within arm's reach. That sense of a shared, communal upbringing helped children learn social skills naturally. You'd watch your older sibling calm a friend after an argument or see your mom navigate a tricky conversation with a neighbour.
But today, family units are smaller, and our support networks are spread out. In this more fragmented setup, kids aren't exposed to those teachable moments as often.
Besides, many children now spend more time interacting with screens than with their peers. Of course, technology has its benefits, and suggesting to "take away phones and tablets" is not an option nowadays, but technology doesn't teach empathy.
These two major changes in our lifestyle leave schools in a unique position to step in and fill that gap, integrating lessons on emotional awareness, empathy and communication into the regular curriculum.
These efforts shouldn't be about making kids "nicer" but about preparing them for real-world life, challenges and, hopefully, success. After all, communication and the ability to understand self and others in different situations are key in any area. Companies across various sectors, from tech to health care, from trades to education, have started to prioritize EQ when hiring because they know employees who can manage their emotions and communicate well are better team players. So, by teaching EQ in schools, we'd be helping kids build foundations for their future.
Sure, implementing an EQ curriculum will require resources, training and support, but I believe it's a worthwhile investment. We're living in a time when mental health concerns are rising, and it's clearer than ever that kids need more than academic knowledge to thrive. Emotional intelligence isn't a luxury – it's a necessity.
So, if we're already teaching students how to solve math problems, drive vehicles and be financially savvy, why not teach them how to navigate emotional quizzes, too? Schools are the perfect place for this: not only do kids spend so much of their day there, but learning these skills alongside their peers would make other lessons more impactful. And with such curriculum modifications, we'll not just help kids be better students, but we'll nurture more understanding, empathetic and resilient individuals.
