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A wonderfully decorated home, fit for the pages of a home décor magazine? A turkey, cooked to perfection, and surrounded by every delicious side dish you can think of? Exquisitely baked, wonderful looking cookies on a beautiful hand-made ceramic platter? A mountain of gorgeously wrapped gifts? The freshest, tallest tree available on the lot? Everyone from both sides of the family gathered around the table, full of good will and generosity of spirit?

Sounds wonderful, doesn’t it? But let me share with you some “perfect” imperfect Christmases.

The Decorations

As a child, for a few years I used to marvel annually at the stunningly beautiful Christmas tree at my friend’s house. Perfectly shaped and covered with marvellous ornaments, dripping with the “icicles” fashionable at the time, and twinkling with lights, it truly was a wonder to behold. Our tree never looked like that.

Then one year, when I was about 11 or 12, Janine happened to be visiting my house on the day we decorated our tree. After my younger siblings and I unpacked the boxes of decorations, we started to place them on the tree. She was amazed – she could not believe we, the children, were not only allowed to touch the tree and handle the decorations, we actually chose where to put each one. Once she understood, she was excited and thrilled to help us decorate.

Our tree – cut from the forest – wasn’t perfectly shaped. We had to position it carefully in order to show off its best side. Our ornaments weren’t as magnificent as the ones belonging to Janine’s mother but we were allowed to hang them ourselves.

After that day, I never gazed at the Christmas tree in my friend’s house with the same admiration. I still appreciated its beauty and symmetry, but I was no longer awestruck.

And, at home, I realized our imperfect Christmas tree with many imperfect, homemade decorations, was, in fact, perfect.

Christmas Dinner

Many years later as a single mother, with no monetary support coming from my ex-husband, finances were exceedingly tight. Earlier that year I had even been relying on the food bank to help feed my children and myself. A Christmas dinner table, groaning from the weight of the meal, seemed well beyond reach.

Two or three days before Christmas, I opened the door to our back porch to find two mysterious cardboard boxes on the step. As it turned out, one contained food items and the other Christmas decorations.

Perhaps our kitchen table didn’t groan from the weight of the food that year but, when the kids and I tucked into a delicious ham, mashed potatoes and various sides of vegetables and a salad, it seemed like a perfect Christmas dinner to us.

The kids and I also enjoyed the new Christmas décor surrounding us. A couple of moves later, I still have some key pieces which come out every Christmas.

Cookies

Well, this one seems rather obvious. Who doesn’t appreciate the imperfect cookies presented with pride by a child or grandchild, even if the beautiful handmade platter has to be replaced with something not so easily broken if accidently dropped on the floor!

Gifts

For the most part, I don’t remember what I received for Christmas as a child or a teenager or even as a young adult. The gifts I do remember are not fancy or expensive.

One year my brother gave me a box of mandarin oranges. This was back when they were a real treat, only available during the Christmas season. I was thrilled – a whole box all to myself! That was one of my best gifts ever.

When I was a teenager, "Gone with the Wind" was my favourite book, and movie. I had borrowed it from the school library, and read it at least three times. So, one year, my sister surprised me with a copy of "Gone With The Wind, Eye-Saver Edition." I thought the book a little small for the word-heavy story, but was intrigued to see what they had done with the manuscript. Imagine my surprise when I opened it up to find nothing but blank pages inside! While we all had a good laugh, I was secretly a little disappointed. But, as the present-opening continued, another wrapped gift proved to be the real thing.

A heartfelt gift is not one easily forgotten. Newly married friends of mine, many years ago, wanted to give each other meaningful gifts, although they did not have much money at the time. I no longer remember what Patricia sold but she did sell one of her cherished possessions in order to buy Dave new ski boots. On Christmas morning, she discovered Dave had sold his skis in order to buy her a gift.

Putting thought and a personal touch into gifts is far more important than the money you spend.

The Tree

During my childhood our imperfect trees had to be strategically positioned to hide the sparse parts as best as possible. The trees may have been imperfect, but what perfect family days we had finding the trees.

Growing up on 150 acres in the British Columbia interior, we had lots of forest on our land. We also heated our home with a wood-burning furnace. As a result, some years our tree hunting expeditions had a double purpose.

The whole family would bundle up and head out for a walk along the edge of one of the forests skirting the pasture land. Both my parents walked with their heads up, studying the tops of the large fir trees some 40 or 50 feet in the air, but it was always my mother who made the final decision before my father started his chainsaw.

As my mother and us children stood well out of the way, my father would send the tree flying down to the ground, creating a shower of snow when it landed. Then we all raced to the top, to see if it was as good as it had looked in the air. Of course, it never was but that didn’t seem to matter. The tree was topped and my dad would cut up the rest later for future firewood.

While the tree top sat in the cool basement to dry a little, we retreated to the kitchen for a rare feast of hot chocolate and Christmas cookies, making the perfect day finding the imperfect tree complete.

Family

Many years ago, my young niece Amanda had been very ill and was hospitalized for several days in the week before Christmas. Christmas Eve morning, she was discharged. Maybe all the preparations had not been completed as planned due to Amanda’s illness, but you can bet my sister and her husband thought it was the perfect Christmas.

The year that He-who-thinks-he’s-boss and I bought our acreage was a year my girls were off to their dad’s for Christmas. John and I decided to spend Christmas at our new place.

Although most of the house was in total disarray due to our tearing out walls in order to insulate, the kitchen was functional. We ate in the unfinished basement, complete with a gravel and dirt floor, perched on lawn chairs sitting at the patio table we had brought indoors. Somehow we had candles, although no candlesticks or other Christmas decorations, so John built a couple of candleholders out of scrap 2x4 pieces of lumber.

It was only the two of us but we knew all the children were safe. We made house and acreage plans in the candlelight as we shared an extra glass of wine after our unorthodox lambchop Christmas dinner. It was a perfect Christmas.

I heard a woman on the radio recently, sharing how difficult Christmas is since her son was killed by an impaired driver. For her, simply to have him back at the table instead of looking at an empty chair, would make Christmas perfect.

Many who have lost loved ones understand the feelings around an empty chair. If this is the first year without a cherished family member present, I pray happy memories will bring you comfort. And for those who are still with us, even if not everyone is able to travel and gather together, focus on those who are present. Love and appreciate them for you never know when their chairs may become the empty ones.

The first Christmas

If there ever was an imperfect Christmas, surely the first Christmas fits the bill. With Mary’s labour beginning, with no friends or family present, and in a strange town looking for shelter, she and Joseph must have been tired, frustrated and scared. But even in those circumstances and sharing space with barnyard animals, Mary gave birth to Jesus Christ, the light of the world, making it a perfect Christmas for her, and for us.

My wish for you all is you will find the perfection in the imperfect this Christmas.