T'was the night before Christmas, and all through the land
Hot water was running as people washed hands.
Each facemask was hung on the back of a chair,
With hopes it would dry in the warm evening air.
“It’s Christmas,” folks chortled. “Yippee!” they declared.
But in one little house someone’s parents were scared,
Of jolly St. Nick, walking into their dwelling!
And spreading his germs, (though the gifts were compelling).
They worried all night once the kids ran to bed,
All happy for Santa to come in his sled,
And bring them great gifts … yet, the parents expected,
The kind that were sanitized, washed and inspected.
Like bottles of Soft Soap placed under the tree,
And Lysol and hand wipes and paper (to pee).
Or maybe a box of those blue rubber gloves,
Or lotion, or Javex (like everyone loves).
So later, ole Max and Irene, with their phones,
Sat down on the sofa, to wait, all alone.
They checked the statistics, the news and the score,
While keeping a beady eye fixed on the door.
They didn’t want Santa to sneak in their home,
Or hop down the chimney and through the place roam!
They wanted to know he was properly clean,
Before he should enter. Who knows where he’d been!
When, out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
Max knew in a moment what must be the matter.
Away to the window he flew like a deer,
Threw open the curtains and took a good peer.
“It’s him!” the man hollered. “Get ready. GET SET!”
Then motioned for silence (Irene was upset).
And grabbing their spray bottles, filled to the brim,
With germicide able to make your head swim.
They crouched near the entrance, most quiet, most still,
And though they quite liked him, and bore no ill will,
They waited for Santa, to take him off guard,
And hose the elf down with complete disregard!
So poor Santa entered, in some disarray,
Delivering toys had been awful that day.
He was scoured and scrubbed, a right spotless old elf,
(If you could have seen him, you’d thought so yourself.)
He wore a red mask pulled up over his nose,
And hand sanitizer had ruined his clothes.
Yet how his eyes sparkled, his laugh remained merry …
At least until Max and Irene went all hairy.
Cause when he bent down to get toys from his pack,
They let out a whoop and jumped up to attack.
They gave him both barrels. They spared no expense,
(And clutching a bagful of toy’s no defence.)
Claus fell to the floor, to his team gave a whistle,
And the sleigh powered in through the roof like a missile.
He scattered the toys, and leapt into his sled,
Intent on escaping back home to his bed.
Then turning, the reindeer, the sleigh and the Claus,
Took flight out the rooftop with barely a pause.
Yet, still he exclaimed ere he drove out of sight,
“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”
