OUTLOOK - It’s all about hoping to give children the best start in life that inspired a local couple to become foster parents in a province that is in desperate need of more foster homes.
Greg and Amy Reddekopp met while attending Bible School in Florida. Before getting married, the Broderick couple discussed wanting a large family. It started with the dream of opening an orphanage in Africa where they were serving as missionaries, but illness forced them back to Canada after Greg got sick and required medical help he couldn’t access there.
While raising four children, they began talking about what they could offer others. Both grew up with foster care knowledge since Amy’s parents and Greg’s grandparents were foster parents so they had insight into what was required. For Amy it was simple. “There are so many kids who don’t have a family and don’t have a safe place to be,” she said. “We can be that for them.”
Greg and Amy spent time preparing their children for the idea. Amy said, “Our situation is maybe a bit unique with our youngest son having autism so we introduced it at least a year before we started any training.” Greg added, “We needed to be sure everyone was comfortable. This is everyone’s home so everyone needs to be on board.”
An inquiry with Saskatchewan Foster Families Association was the next step. It is a process that requires interviews with each member of the family, and what Amy described as some pretty intensive questions. “A lot of people say if you have any unresolved issues in your life the interview process is like therapy,” she said with a chuckle.
A combination of in-person and online training was completed by the couple within six months. “Most people who have made it through the training will get approved,” Greg indicated. “Then there is time as well to get everything in your house done and have a home inspection.”
Rooms are measured to ensure appropriate size for the number and ages of children in the home, and furnace and fireplace inspections need to be provided.
The first child arrived right away
At this point one might expect a bit of a waiting period between approval and notification of a child needing care. Not so in the Reddekopp case. Just three days later they began caring for a three-week old baby girl.
Although they planned fostering children up to 18 months old, they got a call indicating the baby had two older sisters needing a home. Amy smiled and said, “They knew we were interested in adding on to our house at some point so we could take in more children, so they called us up and asked, ‘Are you at that point yet?’” Their foster family grew to include a 10-year old girl and a 21-month old baby.
Each child or sibling set has a social worker who visits once each month. The Reddekopp family also has a social worker who checks in every three months or whenever there’s a new placement. “We’ve never had a negative relationship with a social worker,” Amy remarked. Greg said, “We question sometimes their decisions but at the same time we’ve never had a bad relationship with one. The social workers we’ve worked with want what’s best for the children and that’s what we want too.”
Since October 2019 they have had 14 foster children in their home. What they arrive with is very specific to their situation. “We had children who have arrived in a diaper and nothing else,” Amy said. “We also had a child who arrived with about eight totes and three suitcases. It really depends on their situation and we’re they’re coming from.” Greg said, “Some kids are apprehended outside their home and they don’t have anything and so that’s how they come—with nothing.”
Every child that arrives will find a ‘Squishimal’ (squishy animal) waiting for them in their room. “A lot of times kids come with nothing.” Amy said, “so it gives them something immediately that is theirs.”
A tour of their room is the first step when an older child arrives so they know the space belongs to them. “We just try and make sure they feel welcome,” Amy noted.
Saying goodbye to foster children
The counterpart of the welcome is the reality of the inevitable goodbyes. “It’s hard,” Greg said. “Transitions are hard both when they come in and when they go but it’s much harder when they go.”
Amy says people use this as a reason to not become a foster parent but that excuse doesn’t cut it. “You should get too attached. That’s a good thing. If you don’t care for them as if they are your own you’re doing them a disservice. You know your heart’s going to break when they leave but we have the skills to deal with that. We’re adults. They are children who still need to learn to attach and if they don’t learn how to attach in the early years, their life is that much harder later on. So for us we’re willing to risk the attachment hurt so that they can have success in the future.”
She makes a photobook or scrapbook to give to each child of their time with them. “Doing that helps me prepare for them to be leaving,” she said. “It’s hard. Sometimes you’re the only parents that child has known.”
With older ones there is the added dimension of having earned the trust of a child who then is moved elsewhere. “It’s really hard when they start feeling safe and start opening up,” she shared. “You start learning about what their past has been like. You hear about experiences that I can’t imagine an adult going through and coming out okay. Yet you have these kids going through these experiences, and they’re supposed to be okay? That is hard.”
It’s part of the stigma of foster parenting they wish could be erased. “Yes there are troubled kids in foster care but it’s not the kid’s fault,” Amy said unequivocally, “and I think we as a society look at a troubled kid and blame them, but they had no say in where they grew up.” Greg said, “There are no bad kids. They might make a bad choice but there’s no bad kids. They can be shown and taught a different way.”
Currently the Reddekopp’s have three foster kids and two other little ones under PSI (Person of Sufficient Interest). That means we they have legal custody of them even though they are still within the Ministry. They get a visit only once a year from a social worker and they can sign all legal documents.
Their role as foster parents
As foster parents Amy describes their role as placeholders until parents or family are ready for them. Sometimes children have visits with the biological family and the Reddekopps work hard to facilitate those. “We try and find ways to let them know we are supporting them, we’re not judging them.”
There have been challenges but they have support that includes Amy’s mom who is a good sounding board as a former foster parent, as well as friends who are an approved respite home. They are also grateful to their church for being part of that support system.
In July 2022 they suffered a devastating house fire that forced their relocation to Outlook. Their church mobilized, and within hours they had a home to live in temporarily. “The house was furnished before I even got here the same day the fire happened. It was amazing,” Amy remarked.
Despite being through painful experiences, the couple remain incredibly positive, always thinking of the children first. “I think that anything painful we’ve experienced is still actually way less painful than what that child who caused it experienced,” Amy shared. “We can look at different hard times and be like ‘oh poor us’ or we can look at children and ask what they have been through that led to these hard situations. We want to do what we can to prevent those situations from happening to someone else.”
Greg and Amy feel the financial support provided for foster children is sufficient. “We think so,” Greg said. “We know some foster parents feel it’s not, and maybe if we didn’t live in a small town we would feel that way. But there is money available for sports and recreation, playschool, and cultural events on top of the maintenance money you get.”
Not enough homes
Regrettably, there simply aren’t enough foster homes in the province. “No, definitely not. Not even close,” Amy said emphatically. It’s a reality she finds hard to accept. “I think there’s this idea that foster parents are extra special people. We’re not. We make mistakes. You don’t have to be a perfect parent to be a foster parent. More than anything the kids need a safe home, not perfection.”
She also wants to be clear that parents can determine the age of children they are wanting to foster. They know of older single women and couples that only foster newborns, and others who only take in teenagers. Amy explained, “They know that’s what they can handle. You really can set parameters that work for your family situation.” In encouraging others to become foster parents, Greg said, “Anyone who wants to learn more, please talk to us. We’ll help you. As a society we’re told to open our doors and help others in need. And this doesn’t just help the kids, it helps you as well.”
Amy encouraged, “All the good-byes all the heartache, it’s so worth it because you have helped a child either have a better start or maybe a better finish or maybe a better middle. But you have provided a ‘better’ for them, because every child deserves to be fully loved and wanted.”
