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More stupid criminals

On June 19 and 20 Swift Current RCMP Traffic Services officers pulled over a 30-year-old Strathmore, Alberta man just west of Kindersley for speeding.
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On June 19 and 20 Swift Current RCMP Traffic Services officers pulled over a 30-year-old Strathmore, Alberta man just west of Kindersley for speeding.

During the routine traffic stop, officers became suspicious that Adam Turner may be transporting controlled substances. A subsequent search of the vehicle yielded 14.5 pounds of marijuana and six ounces of cocaine.

Note to wannabe drug traffickers: If you're transporting illicit substances you might want to consider obeying traffic laws!

In honour of this week's alleged dumb criminal, here is another edition of stupid criminals.

Poor choice of aliases

It's a pretty standard tactic for a fugitive to give a false name to police in order to buy himself some time to escape. Two fugitives from California, Dustin Ilar and Daniel Mota, decided to do just that in Victoria, BC. The only problem was, these geniuses, both of whom were subject of arrest warrants used each other's names. Surprise of surprises, Victoria police were somehow not fooled by the ruse.

Worst tattoo ever

Speaking of criminal masterminds attempting to elude detection with a false identity, Dylan Contreras of Twin Falls Idaho may take the cake.In April 2012, the then 19-year-old gave a false name to police. Perhaps he forgot that his real name was prominently tattooed on his forearm. No offence to Twin Falls police, but it didn't take any refined investigatory skills to crack this case.

The Oscar doesn't go to...

If you can't fool authorities with a fake name, maybe a disguise might work. In October 2012 a 30-year-old Des Moines, Washington man came up with a foolproof plan to steal another man's identity by donning a disguise. Joshua Pinney walked into a bank with bandages around his head and cheeks saying he'd just been in an accident. He produced a stolen Oregon identification and requested a new bank card. Apparently, Pinney doesn't have much of a future in Hollywood makeup and special effects because bank employees immediately saw through his get up. When police pointed out he didn't look anything like the man on the photo ID, Pinney said, "I know."

Careless getaway

As plans go, it wasn't the worst, but the execution didn't go all that well for a would-be taxi robber in Florida. In November 2012, Terry Smith of Daytona Beach, Florida, successfully talked his way into the front seat of a cab, by claiming car sickness with the intention of robbing the driver. When the two men arrived at the destination, Smith attempted to grab the driver's wallet and cell phone. He would have got away with it too, if not for a careless oversight. He left his own wallet in the car. The cabbie turned it over to police who arrested the man at his home for attempted robbery.

Unabashed greed

An alleged bank robber in Syracuse, New York was outraged that the teller at the bank he ripped off tried to rip him off. In October 2012, Arthur Brunbridge entered a bank and demanded $20,000. The teller initially refused, but relented handing over some cash. After leaving the bank, however, Bunbridge discovered the loot was light. He returned to the locked bank and starting banging on the door to get back in and collect the rest of the $20,000. Needless to say, Syracuse police were all over the suspect within seconds.

Pot smoke

Marijuana grows best in a warm environment. Daniel Selmon, the cultivator of an Aurora, Illinois grow-op knew this so when forecasted frost threatened his crop, he came up with a, uh, rather unique solution. He lit a large bonfire to keep them warm.Of course, the sight of a bonfire burning at 3 a.m. attracted the attention of Aurora police, who upon investigating seized a number of plants that weighed in at 6.5 pounds, for felony possession and misdemeaner production charges.

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